guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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