so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
