you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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