dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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