I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
