Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
