I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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