No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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