ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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