Is it normal to miss your booty call?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i will never coherently bang her
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
