dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
