I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
