I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
