better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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