was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
