nut hugger
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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