Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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