PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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