She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize