I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
