none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
