I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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