this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
