My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
