Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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