I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
