My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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