we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
