I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
