i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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