i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
pray to the hookup gods
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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