So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
