Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
