Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
