And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I want to fling myself into the sun
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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