so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
