I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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