did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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