No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
