Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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