I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize