You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
