he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
