Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
