Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
