my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
