then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
