i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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