I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
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