Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
this boner is exhausting
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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