my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
