I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
