Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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