My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
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I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
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I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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