I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
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We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
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I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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