Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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