I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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