I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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